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My First L.O.V.E

Suddenly, I miss him. So sudden.
There's no Love can be compare to my first love.
No matter how strong or how long the relationship last.
No matter how handsome or how tall ...
He is the best and with the kind heart.

I still remember, I'm form one, he was form four.
I fall in love with him after he keep coming to my house to meet my brother.
Firstly, it just a friend feeling.. I don't want to get in any relationship that's time cause I'm just started my secondary school, of course my aim to study well with no love story matter. But, youth time a.k.a. adolescence, only for a few years, who want to waste it? and only focus on the book? I'm not book worm. Hehe..





Maybe I'm his last choice. Why I'm saying that? Because the stories just beginning...

We are worship at the same church. That's time I don't know whether he have girlfriend or not. I don't have any feeling on him cause he was my brother's friend. The feeling start when.....

*** he want me to teach him ANTZ's song, Lydia. He want to sing it to her girlfriend. He said. After a few days, he said to me, they already break. I'm not remember whether the girl don't want him any more or she have another affair.
*** after that, he try to confess his love to my bestty that time, Jac. But the girl don't want him, cause she's rock and love wasn't her game!. and then my bestty tear his love letter to a pieces when he do that. Oh no! So cruel.. again, he's rejected. He's single.
*** While I'm looking at him, "Oh Lord, why no one want this guys?" For addiction, this times, I still do not know so much about prayer. From day to days, I keep looking at him, watching what his doing, what's his talent, what's he likes, colours, shirt, even, milo peng. That's last for a few weeks.
*** We have Youth's activities on Valentine's Day, 14th February 2005 at SK, St. Luke's compound. We are given one chocolate (heart shape), and ask to give to another person who are there. That guy seat far from me, I brave myself to make my move and said like this, "give me your hand," then he pull out his palm and give it out. I put my chocolate on it and walk to my others female friends. That's time, I feel so much ashamed. I feel my heart pounding like bass speaker. After that, I seat down, then said to myself, "cold down, you already give him, but you never eat the chocolate, cause you only have one."

Suddenly, my shoulders tapping by someone, I turn my head to left, he hide to my right, then I turn my head to right, he hide on my back, this time I already sit on my chair. I guess, is it he??? comes to give me his? Then, hand comes out, with chocolate on it, I smile and take the chocolate, when I turn my head to see who it was! It was not him!! That's Valentine. He confess his love to me few days before that's day, but I said to him, I don't want to have any relationship, moreover, I don't like him that's time, we just friend and not more than that. The chocolate, I just ate it, delicious, yummy. Valentine's don't eat the chocolate that's night.

go back to my 1st love..
*** maybe after the night, he knows my feeling, or my brother told him, cause that clever open my diary! And I don't know since when he opens it. WThe...
*** on 15th February, that's night, we have bible study, after we end. He said he have something to give me. He take out two cards inside his bag and hand it to me. This for you, only open at home. La la la~ I keep singing while I'm go home, can't wait to see what inside. At home, there are two cards, one for valentine's day, another one for my birthday! there a few short romantic verse that he made, I don't remember, and he said, if I'm willing to be his girlfriend, he hope that he can see I smile when he comes to my house, if I don't accept him, just keep the cards, and don't comes out from the room when I'm enter the house. Crazy rule.
*** on the 16th February, my birthday. When I hear he knocking the door, I shout my brother's name, to open the door. After I see my brother go inside his room, and he just followed at the back, seeing I'm not at the living room, I thinks he disappointed, then I squeeze his arm, and called his name, and a wide smile on my face. He shouts, yes, and smile, then go inside.
*** we start to have love letter and reply each other, that's time I don't have any handphone. My brother have the big one, Nokia old version, if I throw it on watermelon, watermelon will break into 5. haha..
*** on the 19th February, he give me bracelet.. It's not silver, but not get rusty. with some love shape. And I show it to my dad.

the moments that I remembered the most and love the most with him.
1. Picnic and walking at Wong Ajong, that's time, I still feel that the journey was so short although we have to walk around 45 minutes before arrived the rivers.
2. When our church's van accidents, and I'm still trauma cause one of the victim, he take his towel or blanket, forget already, but its green colours, take it out and wrapped it on my body, the road was terribly jam, and we are sitting beside the road. And he was there for me.
3. We are messaging although we are in the same living room, to avoid other people to see we are couple.
4. and a lots more and I don't have any nice words to share it with you guys.. Just let it be a memories.

If I be given a chance, to be with him again, I will think twice.

We are couple on 19th February 2005. Now 19th February 2012.

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